This Week In Sports 2 (ramblings of the esquire)

From now on to start this column I will be recapping the week of fantasy sports. As you know we're in baseball season so that'll be the only sport talked about for now. 





HITTER OF THE WEEK -  Shin-Soo Choo
.579 avg, 1.891 ops, 5 Rs, 3 HRs, 11 RBI, 1 SB


PITCHER OF THE WEEK -  Adam Wainwright
17 IP, 16 Ks, 2 Ws, 1.06 era, 0.76 whip, 5.33 k/bb


Week 2 Top Players
C - Pudge Rodriguez
1B - Carlos Pena
2B - Chase "C Money" Utley 
3B - Ty Wigginton
SS - Derek Jeter
MI - Dan Uggla
CI - Casey McGehee
OF - Shin-Soo Choo, Matt Rihanna Kemp, Jose Guillen, Andre Ethier 
SP - Adam Wainwright, Ricky Romero, Matt Garza, Andy Pettitte, Kevin Correia
RP - Fernando Rodney, Jonathan Broxton, Rafael Soriano


Week 2 Statistical Leaders
Runs - tie: Utley, Kemp, Span (8)
HR - Chase Utley (5)
RBI - Shin-Soo Choo (11)
SB - Andrew McCutchen (5)
AVG - Shin-Soo Choo (.579)
OPS - Shin-Soo Choo (1.891)
Wins - Andy Pettite, etc. (2)
Ks - Ricky Romero (18) 
Saves - Mariano Rivera, etc. (3)
ERA - Justin Duchscherer (0.00) 
WHIP - Jonathan Broxton (0.00)
K/BB - tie: CC Sabathia & Justin Masterson (INF)


Esquire's Week 2 MLB Power Rankings
1. New York Yankees (9-3, won 4 straight) 
2. Philadelphia Phillies (8-4, +29 run diff.)
3. Tampa Bay Rays (9-3, won 6 straight)
4. San Francisco (8-4, +28 run diff.)
5. Minnesota Twins (9-4, +22 run diff.)
6. St. Louis Cardinals (8-4, 38 runs against)
7. Oakland Athletics (9-5, +15 run diff.)
8. Florida Marlins (8-5, won series @phi)
9. Colorado Rockies (6-6, +10 run diff.)
10. Los Angeles Dodgers (6-6, 70 runs scored)


Finally, save time for my NFL Draft Preview Column which drops tomorrow. It will not disappoint. I promise. Thanks for taking the time to read, and now, on to the week in sports followed by my favorite pictures of the week.


This week in sports we learned that Superbowl MVP's who hit women in the face with glass bottles are only worth 5th round picks while Superbowl winning QBs are worth the baggage they come with, the Rays and Yankees are real good, the Red Sox are really not, Artest is the kryptonite to Durant's supertalents, the Lions uncorked the champagne as the Astros made sure they won't go 0-for, the Trailblazers play through injuries better than any team in sports, the Phillies' bats can actually be quieted, the Mavericks finally stole the title of best basketball team in Texas, being the favored seed in the NHL playoffs makes absolutely no difference, Kevin Garnett throws dirty elbows, the Jazz can't catch a break, Harrison Barnes may be the next Kobe, Brandon Jennings is gonna be a superduperstar, just like the rest of humanity Jerry Jones says funny things when he's wasted, and for the first time in a while it seems as if the NFL Draft will begin without the first pick already signed to a contract. 


Pictures Of The Week



-She definitely needs to be flagged for illegal touching




-Ummm, can you say flexible?



-Upside down cleavage may even be better than regular cleavage



-Supertitssss to the rescue!!



-Maybe smoking isn't such a bad thing after all



-The caption speaks for itself



-If you don't watch Friday Night Lights, you should, at least for Minka



-Maybe she's not a whore, maybe she just spilled some coffee there



-The Cardinal doesn't produce only intelligent girls I guess



-4 hot female college athletes, I didn't even know there was 1

They're Too Cool

If you haven't seen this yet you gotta check it out. They have to be the coolest couple in the world. My girlfriend thoroughly agrees. Oh and real quick I want to thank everyone who helped me get to 485 hits for my first week. Really 9 days. Whatever. If you like what you read and see here please pass it along to anyone and everyone. Look for a weekly update tomorrow and then my NFL Draft Column (by far my best yet) early this week. 



That shit made me think of some of my recent favorite live performances. These two were both from the 2009 Grammy's. Fast forward to about the 50 second mark on the first one






This one was the best performance from the 2010 Grammy's I thought



These last couple were my favorite American Idol Performances this season so far. Yes, you know you watch it too

Fast forward to the 28 second mark if you just want to see her sing


Fast forward to the 45 second mark on this one

NBA Playoff Preview & 2009-2010 Season

    
    THE 2010 NBA PLAYOFFS


EASTERN CONFERENCE
(1) Cleveland Cavaliers vs. (8) Chicago Bulls
Prediction - Cavs in 4

--The Bulls are an up-and-coming team led by great young talent in Rose and Noah, but they're certainly not ready to challenge Lebron and the Cavs. I don't see this series having many close games even. Maybe the Bulls make a game out of Game 3, their first home game, but that's the closest they'll come to winning one. The Cavs are too talented, too experienced, and too bitter about losing to the Magic last year. Lebron is focused and ready to begin his assault on Jordan's 6 rings. Memo to the rest of the league............Watch the fuck out!


(4) Boston Celtics vs. (5) Miami Heat
Prediction - Heat in 7

--By far the most compelling of the first round matchups in the East. It will be billed as Dwade vs. the 3 headed monster of Boston, but really, it's Wade vs. Rondo. Rajon took over as the best player on the Celtics this year and they will need him to bring his A game to knock off the surging Heat. As we saw last year, Rondo can elevate his game in the playoffs when his team needs it most. He isn't good enough to hang with Wade all by himself so he better get major defensive contributions from KG and Pierce and even more major offensive contributions from Pierce and Allen. When it comes down to it, this C's team is over the hill and is about to get blown up this summer. Wade takes em down in a thriller of a series. 

(3) Atlanta Hawks vs. (6) Milwaukee Bucks
Prediction - Hawks in 5

--It's a real shame that the Bucks won't have Andrew Bogut, their leader and best player, available for this series. This team took a giant step forward this year outperforming anyone's expectations. With a core of Jennings and Bogut, watch out for them in the future if they add a couple more pieces. And most importantly, they need to resign John Salmons. As for this year though, they're finished. Joe Johnson and company will be too much for them to handle in round 1 without Bogut. Even with him I think the Hawks win the series, but without him it won't be close. 

(2) Orlando Magic vs. (7) Charlotte Bobcats

Prediction - Magic in 6

--The defending Eastern Conference Champs are back and ready for another run at this thing. Dwight's still not the dominant offensive force that he will need to be in order to win a title, but that doesn't mean he can't knock off Charlotte. And unlike last year, Jameer is healthy this post-season. The Bobcats have some serious talent and had a nice run this season. S Jax and Wallace will put up a fight and win a couple, but in the end the Magic will prove to be too much. If only they had MJ playin' rather than watching from the Owner's booth, they may have a shot. 

WESTERN CONFERENCE
(1) Los Angeles Lakers vs. (8) Oklahoma City Thunder
Prediction - Lakers in 5

--Regardless of the outcome of this series, I for one am extremely excited to watch it. Kevin Durant is now the most entertaining man in the league not named Lebron James. He has it all. Every shot in the book. He can score at will, and when he catches fire, you aren't beating him that day. I think he will do that once in this series. He may even go for 50. However, Kobe, Pau, Artest and crew are just a little too good for the Thunder at this point. At least KD will get his first shot on the National stage. He and his young nucleus of Westbrook, Green, and Harden will definitely be here to stay. 

(4) Denver Nuggets vs. (5) Utah Jazz

Prediction - Jazz in 7

--Prior to George Karl's second battle with cancer, I really thought the Nuggets had a chance to ruin the Lakers quest for a repeat. They can do it all. Chauncey is their leader. Carmelo is their scoring machine. Kenyon, Nene, and Birdman control the low post. They have wings, they play D, and they're very well coached. Well, they were very well coached. Ever since Karl left for treatment they haven't been the same team. They still are tremendously talented, but they lost whatever motivation they had I think. They'll put up a hell of a fight, but I just don't think they'll be able to gut it out against a very talented Jazz team led by the big-little combo of Boozer and Deron. 

(3) Phoenix Suns vs. (6) Portland Trailblazers

Prediction - Suns in 5

--Damn she's hot, kinda like the Suns are right now. A few weeks ago it looked as if the Suns were fighting for the 6 or 7 seed. Now they're headed into the playoffs as one of the three hottest teams in the league. Terrific time to peak. With that said, I don't think they could take down the Blazers if Brandon Roy was playing. He's a premier go to guy and crunch time scorer. Without him, the Blazers will surely struggle to score down the stretch. Scoring is a must when you play the run-and-gun Suns. Looks like another unlucky end to the season for the Portland fan base. 

(2) Dallas Mavericks vs. (7) San Antonio Spurs

Prediction - Mavericks in 7

--This has to be the most anticipated series of the opening round. Who would have thought the mighty Spurs would be the 7th seed in this year's playoffs. The addition of Jefferson was supposed to take them back to the top of the hill out west. He hasn't really lived up to his talent level. As for Dallas, the mid-season addition of Butler and Haywood has elevated this team to another level. They are no longer a three-man circus. Butler gives them added scoring and great perimeter D. Haywood has really shored up the post on D. Role players Marion and Terry are always dangerous. Even JJ Barea and Beaubois are explosive off the bench. Dirk's squad goes 9 or 10 deep now and rarely has a lineup on the floor that can't compete with the best. And oh, did I mention they have J Kidd playing like he's 25 again? Duncan, Parker, and Manu will put up a fight. They always do. But, this time, it won't matter. 

Beyond The First Round

I will write matchup previews for the next rounds once we know who makes it there. For now, if my first round predictions go as planned, here is how I believe the rest of the Postseason will play out:

Second Round

Cavs over Heat in 5

Magic over Hawks in 7

Lakers over Jazz in 6

Mavericks over Suns in 6

Conference Finals

Cavs over Magic in 6

Lakers over Mavericks in 7

NBA Finals 

Cleveland Cavaliers over Los Angeles Lakers in 7

-A battle for the ages. Lebron wins his first ring and Finals MVP to go along with it. 

2009-2010 Regular Season Awards

MVP - Lebron James

29.7 ppg, 7.3 rpg, 8.6 apg, 1.6 spg and 1.0 bpg. Yep, just another year at the office for King James.

Runner up - Kevin Durant (picked him to win scoring title and he did) 

Honorable mention - Dwight Howard

My preseason Pick - Lebron James

Rookie of the Year - Tyreke Evans

One of three rookies ever to average: 20 ppg, 5 rpg, 5 apg. Well on his way to becoming an All-Star

Runner up - Stephen Curry

Honorable mention - Darren Collison

My preseason Pick - Blake Griffin

Defensive Player of the Year - Dwight Howard

Again led the league in rebounds and blocks, and just flat out dominates on the defensive end for the otherwise soft Orlando Magic. 

Runner up - Gerald Wallace

Honorable mention - Rajon Rondo 

My preseason Pick - Dwight Howard

6th Man of the Year - Jamal Crawford

Huge scoring boost off the bench for the Hawks this year. Top 12 in the NBA in points per 48 minutes played. 

Runner up - Manu Ginobili

Honorable mention - Jason Terry

My preseason Pick - Jason Terry

Coach of the Year - Scotty Brooks, OKC

Who in the world would have thought the young Thunder would be ready for the playoffs this soon? Most of it is due to Durant and Westbrook, but gotta give props to Scotty too. 

Runner up - Scott Skiles

Honorable mention - Jerry Sloan

My preseason Pick - Definitely not Eddie Jordan

Most Improved Player - Andrew Bogut

Turned into a legit top 3 Center this year. It's a shame he got hurt because he had the Bucks playing at a level that would've threatened even Lebron's crew. 

Runner up - Andray Blatche

Honorable mention - Channing Frye 

My preseason Pick - Thaddeus Young

Comeback Player of the Year - Zach Randolph

Granted he came back from being a lazy asshole and not an injury, but it's a comeback nonetheless. Randolph is an elite scoring big man and even plays a little D now. 

Runner up - Monta Ellis

My preseason Pick - Greg Oden 

First Team All-League

G - Steve Nash & Kobe Bryant

F - Lebron James & Kevin Durant

C - Dwight Howard

Second Team All-League

G - Deron Williams & Dwayne Wade

F - Carmelo Anthony & Dirk Nowitzki 

C - Amare Stoudemire

Honorable Mentions

G - Rajon Rondo

F - Chris Bosh 

C - Pau Gasol 

2009-2010 Fantasy Basketball Awards

MVP - Kevin Durant

30.1 ppg, 7.6 rpg, 2.8 apg, 1.6 threes, 1.4 spg, 1.0 bpg

Runner up - Lebron James

Honorable mention - Dirk Nowitzki

Rookie of the Year - Stephen Curry

Runner up - Tyreke Evans

Honorable mention - George Hill 

Biggest Bust - Gilbert Arenas

Runner up - Chris Paul 

Honorable mention - Devin Harris

Best Sleeper - Stephen Curry 

Runner up - Channing Frye

Honorable mention - Danilo Gallinari

Best Waiver Wire Pick Up - Andray Blatche

Runner up - Roy Hibbert

Honorable mention - George Hill 

First Team All-League

PG - Jason Kidd & Steve Nash 

SG - Dwayne Wade & Steph Curry

SF - Kevin Durant & Lebron James

PF - Dirk Nowitzki & David Lee

C - Al Horford & Brook Lopez

Second Team All-League

PG - Chauncey Billups & Deron Williams

SG - Manu Ginobili & Kobe Bryant

SF - Gerald Wallace & Josh Smith

PF - David West & Carlos Boozer

C - Amare Stoudemire & Dwight Howard

Honorable Mentions

G - Ray Allen 

F - Nene

C - Pau Gasol

Categories Leaders

FG% - Dwight Howard (.612) 

FT% - Steve Nash (.938) 

Threes - tie, Aaron Brooks & Danny Granger (2.5) 

Rebounds - Dwight Howard (13.2) 

Assists - Steve Nash (11.0)

Steals - Rajon Rondo (2.3) 

Blocks - Dwight Howard (2.8) 

Turnovers (most) - Monta Ellis (3.8)

Points - Kevin Durant (30.1) 

2010-2011 First Round Picks

1. Lebron James

2. Kevin Durant

3. Chris Paul 

4. Dwayne Wade

5. Dwight Howard

6. Steph Curry 

7. Dirk Nowitzki

8. Amare Stoudemire

9. Pau Gasol 

10. Chris Bosh 

11. Deron Williams 

12/13. Brook Lopez & Kobe Bryant 

I HATE Fantasy Sports!

**Note from the Esquire**

-I wrote this article (more so a list of complaints) 2 years ago, but thought you may still enjoy it. That should help to explain some of the references. 

I Hate Fantasy Sports because you can blow your whole season on the Colts Defense putting up 24 points on you in your playoff game against an overmatched bitch of an opponent.

I Hate Fantasy Sports because I couldn’t fully enjoy the Eagles dismantling of the Giants because I was too concerned about Jordan Palmer’s (who?) next touchdown pass to the wrong fuckin’ team. 

         

I Hate Fantasy Sports because they make casual fans think certain players are better than they actually are.  

I Hate Fantasy Sports because you can have an amazing week during the playoffs in which you would have beaten any one of the other 10 teams in the league, handily I might add, and yet still get knocked out of the playoffs by the 1 team who outscores you.

                                                

I Hate Fantasy Sports because of people who think they are smart for picking Matt Forte when they clearly drafted him in the 7th round of their draft for the sole fact that he was the last starting running back available, not because they thought he was this year’s Adrian Peterson. 

I Hate Fantasy Sports because the highest high you can achieve is to be the 1 person out of 12 who doesn’t wanna jump out of a window while the normal feeling you get is a deep and utter depression from not winning when you “should” win. 

                                            

I Hate Fantasy Sports because for 5 months I had the best baseball team and yet my best player, Hanley Ramirez, got hurt 1 day into the championship week and I ended up losing by 2 hits and 1 RBI. 

I Hate Fantasy Sports because it forces me to root for players on the Giants, Cowboys, Mets, and Yankees.

    

I Hate Fantasy Sports because of the absolute certainty with which I routinely decide incorrectly between either one of two guys to start.

                                         

I Hate Fantasy Sports because of the people that give up after they lose a few games to start the season and end up fucking over the league. 

              

I Hate Fantasy Sports because I haven’t talked or eaten for over 24 hours since I realized I was gonna lose my fantasy basketball playoff game.

I Hate Fantasy Sports because no matter how much you watch or know about football, you could never in a million years predict that Peyton Hillis would have been the most productive rookie running back out of Arkansas, scoring more fantasy points than Darren McFadden and Felix Jones combined. 

             

I Hate Fantasy Sports because my 78-year-old Grandmother who thinks that Adrian Peterson is the girl from down the street, could pick up a fantasy magazine, look at it for 20 minutes, and then draft a better team than me.

                 

I Hate Fantasy Sports because it takes up a ridiculous amount of my time that could be much better used working to make money. 

I Hate Fantasy Sports because they employ Matthew Berry.

I Hate Fantasy Sports because even when you know the most, it rarely matters. 

I Hate Fantasy Sports because of the old-school sports writers who refer to people who play fantasy as, “fantasy nerds,” and yet still think their ancient opinion is relevant to the up-and-coming generation of sports fans.

                              

I Hate Fantasy Sports because of the 25 time consuming emails I receive on a weekly basis with completely craptastic trade offers from someone in my league. Or even worse, time consuming emails from members of my league complaining about a rule they don’t like and turning it into the biggest problem of all time.

And most of all, I Hate Fantasy Sports because I Love them wayyyy too much to ever stop playing.

 

This Week In Sports (ramblings of the esquire)

Before I get to my snapshot of the past week in sports, I wanted to apologize for the problem with my last post. For some reason those pictures were screwed up once I posted them to blogspot, but on my computer it showed that they were coming up as normal. Anyway, because they weren't loading on the site, I copied and pasted the article and emailed them to everyone on my listserve. If you are a reader and you want the Top Sideboob Shots sent to you (trust me you do!), just put a comment after this column with your email address and I will forward you the article with the pictures actually showing. Finally, keep your eyes open for my NFL Draft Preview Column coming later this week. It will not disappoint. I promise. Thanks for taking the time to read, and now, on to the week in sports followed by my favorite pictures of the week.

This week in sports we learned that baseball is back, Big Ben knows how to get off (pun intended), Jason Heyward is so talented it's scary, Phil Mickelson looks good in green jackets, David Ortiz should change his nickname from Big Papi to David "Why Did I Dump The PED's" Ortiz, the Flyers fought off the Rangers to claim the title of "less pathetic hockey team from the Northeast," Harry Leroy Halladay III is going to lead the Phillies to their third consecutive NL Pennant, Jimmy Clausen knows how to throw spirals, Ndamukong Suh hits harder than a freight train according to sports science, Barry Bonds is proud of Mark McGwire for finally admitting his steroid use - hahahahah, come on Barry, Tiger's layoff isn't going to hold him back whatsoever, Santonio Holmes got exiled out of Pittsburgh and sent to New York - I'm sure he's very upset about that, Roger Maris is nervous about Ryan Howard's quest to break his record with no asterisk attached, Lebron and Dwight are ready for the playoffs, Kobe and the Lakers are not, the Astros are well on their way to 0-162, Duke University ruins the dreams of underdogs everywhere, the Uconn women can win shooting with their opposite hand, and the Raptors without Chris Bosh aren't even good enough to beat a D-II college team.

**Little addition to the part about the Uconn Women**

As you know, the University of Connecticut Women's Basketball Team just completed back-to-back undefeated National Championship seasons. It's an incredible feat. I gotta give it up to Coach Geno Auriemma for a job well done. To beat 78 straight teams, all by double digits nonetheless, is absolutely unheard of. Obviously, I don't waste my time watching women's basketball, but I took these incredible statistics at face value and used them in an argument with one of my best friends last week. I told him (we will call him Jewbacca) that the Uconn women's team could beat almost any boys high school team in the country and possibly some D-II men's college teams. Jewbacca argued with me relentlessly saying that his High School - Plymouth-Whitemarsh - who just won the Pennsylvania 4-A State Championship could easily beat the Uconn women by 50. I told Jewbacca he's crazy and biased against women, possibly even a genderist (or whatever you would call it). Then in order to prove my point, I watched the Uconn Women play for about 15 minutes against Baylor in the Final 4. Baylor has a girl who is 6 foot 8 so I thought watching them play against her would be a good comparison to the taller high school boys. I didn't need the full 15 minutes. Two minutes into watching them play I got out of my bed, grabbed my cell phone, swallowed my pride, and called Jewbacca. Here is the gist of the conversation:

Esquire: "So do you remember when we were arguing about the Uconn Women?"

Jewbacca: "Yes. You're retarded."

Esquire: "Well I know I don't ever like to admit that I'm wrong, but I just watched them play for 2 minutes and not only could they not come close to beating your high school, but I'm almost certain that they would lose to any good boys high school team in the world."

Jewbacca: "I can't believe you just admitted I was right. I wouldn't even have done that if the roles were reversed."

Esquire: "Dude, girls are just not very good at basketball."

The moral of the story - no matter how dominant girls are compared to the girls they play against (and Uconn is the most dominant of all time), they're still girls. Do they have the dribbling, passing, and shooting talent? Yes, of course. And although some are incredible athletes, ultimately they can't jump as high, run as fast, or hit as hard. They don't have the strength and athleticism to compete with boys who are bigger. stronger, and quicker than they are. I tried my best to defend you Huskie Women, I really did, but I just couldn't do it successfully. Lesson learned.

And now, the pictures of the week:

Pictures Of The Week

-Didn't know I liked the Cubs until now


-Don't know what SbB is, but I do know I like it


-I think her hands are up against the lockers cause she's getting arrested for giving the ref a heart attack


- Gotta love beach volleyball


-Why do I never get seats next to women who look like this???
P.S. She wasn't very happy to be left off the Top 20 Sideboob List
P.S.S. She may be saluting Hiter, I'm not sure


-I bet you thought field hockey was stupid..........'til now


-Not sure I trust their Fantasy advice, but I'd take their word on other things


-The girls responsible for keeping Brett Favre young


-Not sayin' Tiki made the right choice, clearly he's a tremendous scumbag, but come on, who would you rather??

Top 20 Sideboob Shots

While this will remain mostly a sports-related blog, I know you're not all coming here just for my expert sports analysis. I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you enjoy the pictures sprinkled in throughout my articles. Anyway, along with the sports columns, I will be doing a bi-weekly Top 10 List (or 20, depending on the category). The categories will range from Sports to Movies to TV shows to what you will see now......Amazingly Hot Women. The first category was inspired by the girl you will see at the top of the list. I saw the pic and knew this had to be my first Top 10 of the year, or in this case, Top 20. So without further ado, it's time to unveil the Top 20 Sideboob Shots of the Month (although I'm not gonna lie, I found 'em all today). First off, here are a few honorable mentions:

Honorable Mention #1

She couldn't be in the top 20 cause the weird looking Botoxed-out-of-her-mind face outweighs the perfection of the sideboob. Very nice nonetheless.

Honorable Mention #2

















She gave away a little too much nip for this to be a straight-up sideboob shot, but ya can't argue that Cameron looks pretty damn good in this one.

And now......THE TOP 20!!

#20.....

Jessica doesn't disappoint in this pic, but does leave a little too much to be desired....or maybe it's just too far away. Either way, just barely good enough for the top 20.

#19.....

The first of our small boobie crew, Eva Mendes. It's the only thing keepin her this far down the list cause other than that she's pretty damn perfect.

#18.....

Ditto. But shout out to my boy Leeroy Jonathon Franklin Higgins III who has been obsessed with this girl since we were about 15.

#17.....


That Rihanna rain just won't let up. She ain't got much, but she knows how to work it. Viva la brazil.

#16.....


Real nice powdery-white sideboob shot of Anne Hathaway. I don't think I like her look, but then i stare at a pic like this and become slightly more interested

#15.....

Brad Pitt's sloppy seconds. An oldie, but always a goodie.

#14.....

This would be higher because it is truly a work of art, but I hate Lindsay Lohan with a passion and I'm greatly looking forward to the breaking news of her overdose on TMZ any day now.

#13.....
 
Angelina has certainly looked better, but in my few seconds of searching, this was her best sideboob shot i came across.

#12.....

Don't know her name. Don't care. What else can I say???

#11.....

Eliza is definitely lookin' her best in this one. I bet that tattoo on her left hip is chinese for, "I have a beautiful sideboob."

#10.....

Ms. Adriana Lima, my favorite Victoria's Secret model of all time. She claimed on the Howard Stern show that she was still a virgin (this was about 4 years ago and at the time she was 25). I think she's a liar, but if she's tellin' the truth, that's a travesty to the men on this planet. An even bigger travesty.....she now dates that putz Marco Jaric who basically stole money from the Timberwolves and Clippers while averaging about 4 points, 1 assist, and 15 turnovers a game. The scariest part of this pic is that she looks a thousand times hotter in her front-facing pictures.

#9.....

I mean this girl is just unreal. I had so much trouble not gettin her higher up on the list, but in all fairness, she did cover up a little too much of the sideboob with her left arm. Either way, #9 ain't too bad.

#8.....

Never heard of this Gemma Atkinson character before, but as far as sideboobs go, I hope I hear from her again.

#7.....

I like my girls Italian so mad bonus points to her, whatever her name is, for making an espresso look that sexy.

#6.....

This would be higher up on the list as well, but I think she's gotta be a professional. You definitely get docked a few points for that. And I don't know if it can be verified, but this has to be one of the girls Tiger Woods was bangin', right? I mean if she wasn't then why the fuck not?

#5.....

Lisa Guerrero I think her name is? Whatever, with a body like that it's not like her name matters anyway. Only reason she isn't number 1 is cause she didn't even try to be seductive about it. She's just lettin that shit hang out with the nip basically showing...........not that there's anything wrong with that.

#4.....

Perfect blend of seduction, boob size (not too big and not too small), and the extra assets to go along with it. Well done, whatever your name is.

#3.....

Well, Katherine definitely doesn't look Knocked Up in this pic. Her Grey's Anatomy looks damn good though. This really is the best pic I've ever seen of her. Until now I wasn't even sure how hot I thought she was, but now........with this sideboob........I'm fairly certain.

#2.....

Brooke Burke is a goddess. We all know it. We should all just be happy to share this earth with her. I mean she looks fantastic here with the sideboob dippin' out, but then again, I'm not sure I ever saw a bad shot of her.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. The girl who inspired this Top 20 Sideboob List.......

#1.....

Dammmnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you all enjoyed. You're welcome.