This Week In Sports 7 (ramblings of the esquire)

HITTER OF THE WEEK - Edwin Encarnacion 
.368 avg, 1.725 ops, 7 Rs, 6 HRs, 11 RBI

PITCHER OF THE WEEK - Edwin Jackson
15.2 IP, 21 Ks, 2 Ws, 2.87 era, 0.77 whip, 10.50 k/bb

Week 7 Top Players

C - Mike Napoli

1B - Kevin Youkilis

2B - Ben Zobrist

3B - Edwin Encarnacion

SS - Troy Tulowitzki

MI - David Eckstein

CI - Justin Morneau

OF - Nelson Cruz, Jason Bay, Carl Crawford, Torii Hunter

SP - Edwin Jackson, Clayton Richard, Gio Gonzalez, Josh Johnson, Johnny Cueto, John Ely

RP - Carlos Marmol, Neftali Feliz, Ryan Franklin

Week 7 Statistical Leaders

Runs - Torii Hunter, etc. (9)

HR - Edwin Encarnacion (6)

RBI - Nelson Cruz (12)

SB - BJ Upton (5)

AVG - Jason Bay (.500, 22ab's)

OPS - Edwin Encarnacion (1.725, 19ab's)

Wins - Shaun Marcum, etc. (2)

Ks - Edwin Jackson (21)

Saves - Rafael Soriano, etc. (3)

ERA - Josh Johnson (0.00, 13ip)

WHIP - Ubaldo Jimenez (0.43, 7ip)

K/BB - Jon Lester (INF, 9k's) 

Esquire's Week 7 MLB Power Rankings

1. Tampa Bay Rays       (32-13, 1st)

2. Philadelphia Phillies  (26-17, 2nd)

3. New York Yankees    (26-18, 3rd)    

4. Minnesota Twins        (26-18, 4th)

5. Los Angeles Dodgers (25-19, 5th)
6. Detroit Tigers              (25-19, 6th)

7. Cincinnati Reds          (26-19, 8th)

8. St. Louis Cardinals     (26-19, NR)

9. Texas Rangers           (25-20, NR)

10. Toronto Blue Jays    (26-20, 9th)

I know, I know. I'm really slacking. For those of you who read on a regular basis, I really do apologize that I didn't get a column up all this week. I really do intend to put up 3 per week but running your own law practice gets kind of time consuming. I will do my best though to post as much as possible. And as always, thanks for taking the time to read. And now, on to the week in sports followed by my favorite pictures and favorite videos of the week.

This week in sports we learned that the Sixers are relevant again, the Orlando Magic are pathetic, the Celtics are real deal, it's good to be named Edwin....well at least if you're a baseball player, Brian Urlacher is sensitive, being the wealthiest man in Russia doesn't do any good for you in the draft lottery, interleague play brings out the worst in the Phillies, Tiger Woods is finally coming back...again, Steve Nash got seriously injured....again, even though I don't like the NHL - the Flyers are making a historically impressive run, Dirk wants out of Dallas, Worldwide Wes is the ruler of the world and will be the determining factor in where Lebron plays in 2010, David Ortiz isn't quite dead yet, Mark Teixeira may very well be, Carlos Zambrano definitely is, and Phil Jackson is about to win his 11th NBA ring and move back to Chicago to return the Bulls to glory......um, as long as a certain someone goes with him. 

Pictures Of The Week

Remember when they were just the 2 little wholesome twins of Danny Tanner? Yea, I didn't like those days as much either. 

Possibly the strangest piece of art I've seen in a while. I guess the artist was trying to capture the beauty of the aftermath of a cumshot?? I'll put him down on my list of people I'd like to interview someday soon so I can find out. 



The 7 inch high heels were definitely necessary for the beach. Her "outfit" would've looked so ridiculous without them. On second thought, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that no one on the beach even noticed she had feet, let alone high heels covering her feet. 


The Loch Ness Bobb Monster. How the fuck do these things get so big? Do you think she lends some out to flat girls in need? Actually, there should be a charity called Flat Girls In Need, and I vote her as the first donor. 



Maybe she's not a whore. Maybe she's just on the ground searching for the other 3/4's of her shorts. Naaaa, she's just a whore. 


Forget making PC look like a dork with processor issues...... This is how you sell a fuckin' computer. Steve Jobs really is a genius. 




I bet she's with him cause he's her soulmate. 



Not attractive at all. A 4 at best. And that's only with clothes on to cover up the tummy. But bless the lord for girls like this because at 2 in the morning, when the bar lets out at college, and you still haven't found someone to take home........She's a pretty safe bet. 



I'm not a father yet. And I'm all for fun and games with the kids. But this may be a little too dangerous.



I've always wondered what it would look like to see an obese girl plop her fat rolls down on a wooden pole. And now I know. Do you think that big bruise was brought on by her fat cells beating up the few normal cells that she has left?



If you thought that last one made you queasy then before you scroll down make sure you aren't eating like egg salad or anything like that. 


ZOOM IN......OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!




Videos Of The Week


And now in real time......




Shout out to my man Craig Robinson who is competing for Ali's love on The Bachelorette





Fast forward to the 30 second mark. And try not to be drinking anything when you watch this....unless you don't really mind it shooting out your nose.










Ok, who forgot to tell the bridesmaids that you're supposed to lose weight before your friend's wedding?




Hahahaha, probably shoulda faced it the other way there buddy