Working in Center City Philadelphia, I come across a great deal of homeless people who beg for change day and night. For some reason I feel so bad for them that I give 'em money almost daily. I guess the reason would be that I figure if I can spend $15 on a stupid overpriced drink at some bar in the city, why can't I give $1 to some guy on the street who needs it wayyy more than I do. Now I'm sure the majority of them are using it to buy alcohol or drugs or whatever, but if that's the one thing that makes them a little happier, I'm fine with that. I don't act all high and mighty and say, "I won't give them my hard earned money to go waste on drugs and alcohol," like most people would say. I do try and give them food if I have it, but if not, why not give 'em some change? However, since there's so many of them begging on the streets, I started to limit how many of them I would donate to. My criteria became this - Do they lie about what they're gonna use the money for? Do they harass me every single day? Do they make me laugh? That's pretty much it.
Well 1 guy is freakin' hilarious. We call him "G." You make assume that would be gangster related but it's not even close. Every time people walk by, or at least when I walk by, he always asks for a "G" or $1,000 if you're not familiar with the term. **Sidenote - If you're not familiar with the term you may as well go shoot yourself for being completely out of touch with real life** Anyway, I find it hysterical that instead of asking for spare change or for a dollar, this dude yells "Yo man can you spare a G?" Haha. Gotta give it to him, he's got balls. And because of those balls, I feel inclined to give him $1 usually. On the opposite end of the spectrum you got this guy who sits in his wheelchair outside the train station every single morning holding out a cup and begging for change. One problem - the dude isn't handicapped. I watched him pushing himself in the chair with his legs a few days ago. I think he was drunk and forgot to keep up his act. Needless to say, I stopped giving to him.
With that said, I wanted to share with you all the funniest homeless people (or bums as you may refer to them) that I've come across recently. And shout out to Tyesha who hooked me up with the pics from her phone.
Hahaha. What can I say - ninjas and kung fu lessons, it's a pretty damn original request.
This guy is the best. He sits with a smile on his face and tells you straight up how it is. Gotta respect that.
Ha, this dude plays off the President's slogan for change. Love it. You'd think if he's smart enough to create a pun as witty as this, he probably wouldn't be homeless. You thought wrong.
Hahaha, loved this dude. I wonder if he really can code html?? I bet not. But ya never know.
I didn't take these next few pictures but they're funny nonetheless
Aight that's all I got for now. Stay tuned for 2 more posts comin this weekend. One is on Ryan Howard's new contract and the other is on the NCAA Tourney's expansion to 68 teams. Oh, and more hot ass pictures. Have a good Friday night and try to stay out of jail. But if you do go to jail, hit me up, I'll help ya out. HAHA.
-The Esquire
OF - Ryan Braun, Colby Rasmus, Michael Bourn, Carl Crawford
SP - John Danks, Brandon Morrow, Mike Pelfrey, Brad Penny, David Price
RP - Francisco Rodriguez, Matt Capps, Matt Lindstrom
Week 3 Statistical Leaders
Runs - tie: Utley, Kemp, Span (8)
HR - Chase Utley (5)
RBI - Shin-Soo Choo (11)
SB - Andrew McCutchen (5)
AVG - Shin-Soo Choo (.579)
OPS - Shin-Soo Choo (1.891)
Wins - Brad Penny, etc. (2)
Ks - Brandon Morrow (16)
Saves - Matt Lindstrom (4)
ERA - Mike Pelfrey (0.00)
WHIP - Phil Hughes (0.41)
K/BB - Ricky Nolasco (INF)
Esquire's Week 2 MLB Power Rankings
1. Tampa Bay Rays
2. Minnesota Twins
3. New York Yankees
4. St. Louis Cardinals
5. Philadelphia Phillies
6. Oakland Athletics
7. Florida Marlins
8. San Francisco
9. San Diego Padres
10. Colorado Rockies
Thanks for taking the time to read, and now, on to the week in sports followed by my favorite pictures of the week and favorite videos of the week.
This week in sports we learned that the NFL Draft works pretty damn well with the new 3-day format, Ryan Howard can now afford about 100,000 high class escorts, King James is actually beatable in the playoffs (for a game at least) even though he's averaging almost a triple-double, Tim Tebow was worth a shot in the first round, Jimmy Clausen was not, Colt McCoy most definitely was not, the Thunder are so far ahead of the learning curve they're like the nerdy douchebag who gets A's in every class in high school - but in a very good way if you can understand that ha, Mark Teixeira still blows and it's almost May, I was right by predicting Jamal Crawford would win 6th Man of the Year, the NFL desperately needs a rookie salary scale, Phil Jackson doesn't give a shit what David Stern thinks, Lance Berkman must be a God because the Houston Astros have the league's best record since his return, Scott Skiles must be an amazing coach because his Bucks keep winning despite the loss of Bogut, the Rays are the MLB's best team, the Orioles are the worst, Pete Carroll knows as well as I do that Taylor Mays will be terrible in the NFL, and unfortunately Roy Halladay is human after all.
Pictures Of The Week
There's something about the mixture of the boobs, the face, the eyes, the camera, the lingerie, and the cross that just screams - "I don't have high self esteem and I'm here for the taking." You gotta love girls like that
Definitely fake. Definitely don't give a shit. Definitely can't stop staring.
Personally I've always been into brunettes, and I'm now taken, but if I met her at the right time I'm guessin' she may have been able to change my mind
If this picture doesn't scream, "I'm a fake blonde Italian ho-bag who has a rich daddy and desires all the attention I can get," then for the life of me I don't know what does
It's good to be the King of Gainesville. "BIG things" come with that title. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he finds a few more in Denver.
Is this real?? If it is, it's fuckin' awesome. Better question - When's the last time you think he's seen his penis under that large roll of Sumo Fat?
Videos Of The Week
NO ONE slams it home like my man The Akron Hammer
Haha. I don't care about the NHL, and Ovechkin is a piece of shit, but this shit is hilarious
This is what you get for living in Pittsburgh
The best part of this is that the kid does not have even 1 friend around to help him. Where did he go once he figured out how to actually put the sandal on?
Who knew Chan Ho Park was such a comedian?
I'm hung up on this one. Would she make it easier to work out because she would inspire you, or harder to work out cause you can't stop staring at her (and kept needing to "sit down for a second")??? I'm thinkin' the latter.
Pretty excited for this movie to come out. Looks awesome. By the way, go see Kick Ass immediately!!
Damnnnn. Sick move by this kid.
At least this guy is persistent. That's a plus, right?
The first round of the 2010 NFL Draft has come and gone. It was a night filled with excitement, surprises, trades, and a WHOLE LOTTA ASSETS!
Just like this broad above, it was a night that did not disappoint. We were promised trades and trades we got. We were promised a quicker paced round with less down time and that's exactly what we got. I actually won a bet with a friend of mine (we will call him Jean Jacket) based on the pace of last night. I said that the average time per pick would be under 9 minutes. He vehemently opposed. I actually thought it would be under 8 minutes but why not give myself a little wiggle room in the bet? Feel me. Well needless to say I dominated the bet. It was over before it began. The rule of thumb being don't doubt my draft day knowledge, or maybe it's that Jean Jacket is a terrible gambler. Either way, worked out well for me. As for the ups and downs of the first Thursday night in NFL Draft history, here's a quick rundown.
UPs
-Big UPs to the Raiders for finally not botching their pick for the first time since I can remember. Rolando McClain will be a stud MLB for the next 12 years. Guaranteed. Of course they needed to draft a LT, but I commend them for at least taking a player with obvious talent rather than another bum who looks good in the weight room or on the track.
-Good job by the Rams not fucking up and trading away the #1 overall pick. They desperately need the franchise QB they've been lacking since Kurt Warner got shipped off to NY.
-Loved what the Bills did. Get the best RB in the draft, get rid of Marshawn "I create more problems than first downs" Lynch, and most of all don't get sucked into taking Jimmy Clausen just cause he plays quarterback.
-Big Up to my Eagles for moving up 11 spots without having to give either of their two 2nd round picks in order to draft pass rushing specialist Brandon Graham. Guaranteed double digit sacks this year, you'll see. And please fellow Eagle fans, stop complaining about not drafting Earl Thomas. The dude is good, not great, and the Eagles will never take a safety that high. Get over it.
-Fabulous job by the 49ers moving around in the draft and grabbing 2 top offensive lineman. They now have bookend Tackles for years to come in Staley and Anthony Davis as well as a super run blocking Samoan in Iupati. Loved their first round. If only they had a QB...
-Congrats to Carson Palmer for finally talking his team into getting him a legit TE red-zone threat in Jermaine Gresham. If he stays healthy he's a star.
-Finally, great job by the Detroit Lions who are absolutely headed in the right direction. Ndamukong Suh will be a pro bowler. Possibly as a rookie. And Jahvid Best is lightning. If that kid can take the physical beating in the NFL like other guys his size (Desean Jackson) then he will create so many matchup problems it'll be scary.
DOWNs
-First off, is this a man? Woman? Beast? Alien?? I really don't know. Ugh, definitely scary to look at whatever that thing is.
-Bad move by the Jaguars jumping on Tyson Alualu at least 30 picks too soon. Probably more. Easily could have gotten him in the second round while taking an OL that they need at the 10th pick.
-Terrible choice by the Broncos to take Demaryius Thomas as the first WR off the board. I know you may think Dez Bryant is the next Brandon Marshall attitude wise, but if you are going to take a WR in round 1, he's about a thousand times more talented than Thomas. That pick will not work out well for Denver. The Tebow pick, not so sure. I think I like it though for now.
-Chargers got a little trigger happy. They saw Spiller go a few picks early and panicked. Don't get me wrong, I like Ryan Matthews, but did anyone in the world think he was going 12th overall? I think they could have traded up to 19 at the very most and still got him. Woulda cost them less in draft picks and signing bonus. Maybe even could have gotten him at their pick (28th overall).
-Big Down to the Big 10 for having only 3 guys drafted in the first round while the Big 12 and SEC, the other 2 dominant football conferences, seemed to produce every player in last night's festivities. 5 of the first 6 alone came out of the Big 12. Damn.
Now, on to some fun football pictures.
She's kinda sweaty, maybe she just played, or maybe some of the guys on the team just played with her.
Definitely a favorite among the Trojan football team. Possibly even the girl Charlie Weis was talkin about when he called out Pete Carroll. At least I hope so for Carroll's sake.
God damnit I shoulda gone to school in the South. I knew it. Thanks Mom and Dad.
Florida State. Continuing to produce only the best and brightest around.
Yea, I can't even think of anything non-slutty to say at this point. I think even she would admit that she's not the classiest girl in the world. Or the 498,000,000th classiest.
I'm guessin Big Ben wishes the Steelers picked her to snap him the ball rather than Pouncey. Or maybe he can still bring her in as a bathroom attendant. Ha, I'll shut up now.
In an ideal world, more athletes would be like Ndamukong Suh. More people in general would be like this mountain of a man with an oversized heart. The overwhelming choice for best collegiate player in the country has pledged to do something that most, if not all, draft eligible college kids would never even dream of doing. If you haven't heard yet, here's the story:
"Only moments before kickoff of the Nebraska Red-White Spring Game on Saturday, Ndamukong Suh inconspicuously entered the field from a side entrance.
He looked different from when he was last at Memorial Stadium, this time wearing jeans and a casual shirt. Still, it took fans in the front rows of the north end zone less than 30 seconds to notice Suh, and they began yelling his name.
Indeed, Suh is a superstar here, and the ovation was much louder when the game came to a complete halt in the first quarter and, in a prerecorded video message, Suh announced he will donate $2 million to the Nebraska athletic department and another $600,000 to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln College of Engineering to endow a scholarship. It is the largest single gift ever from a former football player.
Ndamunkong Suh and Bo Pelini wave to the Red-White game crowd after the announcement that Suh will donate $2 million to the Husker athletic department and $600,000 to the NU Foundation for an engineering scholarship. (Jacob Hannah / Lincoln Journal Star)
Suh graduated with a degree in construction management from the College of Engineering. He asked that students from his high school, Grant High School in Portland, Ore., be given first preference for the scholarship he is creating. Suh hopes to help out-of-state students, who pay more to attend UNL. "The unprecedented gift from any student-athlete who has yet to be drafted will arrive after Suh signs his NFL contract. At his request, the money will be used for renovations in the North Stadium strength and conditioning center, where Suh spent countless hours training.
The Nebraska players circled Suh at midfield on Saturday, and coaches Bo and Carl Pelini flanked him. After the announcement, Suh hugged the Pelinis and athletic director Tom Osborne.
Suh won a long list of awards following his senior season as a defensive tackle, was a Heisman Trophy finalist and is expected to be a top-3 pick during the NFL Draft on Thursday.
The reception he received from the crowd of nearly 78,000 fans Saturday sent a chill up his back, Suh said, much like when he played his final game against Kansas State on Nov. 21.
It also was special to have the team surrounding him, Suh said, because it’s those and future players that will benefit from his gift. The gift was also a thank-you to his coaches and teachers.
“I didn’t feel like I had to, but I definitely wanted to give back to the university that gave me so much,” Suh said. “I graduated, just like me and Coach Bo talked about a year ago when he came to my house, and he and the rest of the defensive staff put me in position to possibly go No. 1 overall.”
After briefly meeting with reporters following the announcement, Suh signed a handful of autographs for youngsters and was led out of the stadium. He was headed back to New York to rejoin friends and family before the draft.
Many former players were at the game and were impressed by Suh’s donation. Barrett Ruud noted that his teammate with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, cornerback Ronde Barber, made a large donation to Virginia, but he’s never heard of such a donation being made so quickly after graduation.
“It just shows how much the university meant to him, especially for a guy that’s not from Nebraska,” Ruud said. “He’s from Portland and came across the country, and to take to the state and university like he has is a pretty neat deal.”
Ndamukong Suh, you make me proud. You make me feel like there are some athletes out there who actually get it. And really I'm not restricting this to just athletes but people in general. If you have money, donate some. If you don't have money to donate, then give your time. Do something to make the world a better place and don't always think selfishly of what is best for only you. In an ideal world, we would all make sure that people who couldn't care for themselves had others they could count on. In an ideal world, more people would be like Ndamukong Suh.
It's finally time for the 2010 National Football League Draft. It's a very exciting time of year for football fans everywhere. Even more exciting for a bunch of 21-year old kids who are about to fulfill a lifelong dream. And get paidddd!
For the first time ever the draft will be spread over a 3 day period with the first round being televised on Thursday night in primetime. Since the NFL shook up the way the draft is conducted, I decided I would shake up the type of Draft Preview I would write.
Rather than give you a boring list of the teams along with the player I think they'll choose in the first round (see Kiper, Mel), I've decided to allow each team's cheerleaders to speak for their respective organizations. And they have a tremendous pool of talent to select from. I've called 'em all to interview them and here's what they had to say:
1.Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma
--With the first overall pick, my Rams know they can't take the best overall player in the draft. That Suh kid from Nebraska. It would be a financial disaster to give 40+ million of guaranteed money to a defensive tackle. Even if he was the best DT in the league, he still may not be worth that kind of money. DT is just not a premier position in the NFL and therefore cannot be taken with the first overall pick. Quarterback on the other hand is....And Bradford is the best of this year's group. He woulda gone #1 overall last year had he come out and I don't think the shoulder surgery will hold him back now. He should be a very good starter one day. He just better be able to deal with going 4-12 for the next couple years.
2. Ndamukong Suh, DT, Nebraska
--As you may know, the Detroit Lions don't have any cheerleaders, so I, the team's private supporter (wink, wink), will be sharing my squad's pick with you. We are glad to welcome the man whose name means 'House of Spears' to our revamped defense. Suh is a dominating interior force who will single-handedly stop any team's rushing attack. He's the best player in this year's draft. Period. With the additions of Kyle Vandenbosch and now Suh, we are well on our way to building a defense that can allow our young explosive offense to actually compete.
3. Gerald McCoy, DT, Oklahoma
--My Bucs took a major step back last year after being very competitive for most of the past decade. When we were on top of our division, it was always our defense keeping us there. Our young offense led by Josh Freeman could definitely use some help, but McCoy is too good to pass on at number 3. He will create the pass rush we so badly lacked last season. Certainly the kind of guy you can start to build your D around, although personally, I can't believe people dare and compare him to Suh. He's really not in the same league.
4. Russell Okung, OT, Oklahoma St.
--With the recent acquisition of pro-bowl quarterback Donovan McNabb, my Redskinsmust make sure they can actually protect #5 long enough to keep him on the field. With the loss of Chris Samuels we have a gaping whole at LT. And it showed last year. Okung should come in and start immediately as McNabb's blind side protector for the foreseeable future. If Okung can shore up the O-line, we may actually have a shot to go from worst to first in the NFC East this year.
5. Eric Berry, S, Tennessee
--Looking at all the holes we have on both sides of the ball, with the 5th pick my Chiefs have to take the best player left on the board. Even though I don't love him, think he is overrated, and laugh when he's mentioned in the same sentence as Dawkins, Reed, and Polamalu, Berry is still probably the best player left on the board at number 5. He will be a ball-hawking defensive back at the pro level and make our defense more competitive. So, I guess I'm gonna have to be happy with him at this spot. 6. Trent Williams, OT, Oklahoma
--Hi, I'm Dawn, and I love the Seahawks. I bet I could make you love them too. With our new coach Pete Carroll at the helm, we are ready to reclaim the top spot out West. To do that we are certainly gonna need help on the O-line. Walter Jones may come back for one more year, but even so, we need another Tackle. Williams, the massive LT from the Sooners, can come in and play RT while learning from Jones for a year before taking over for him full time in 2011.
7. Derrick Morgan, DE, Georgia Tech
--The Browns don't have cheerleaders and I'm the only attractive girl who has ever worn a piece of clothing associated with the Browns (even though Frye is a Raider now). So I'll be the guest speaker for this pick. New management, Mike Holmgren and Tom Heckert, know that great teams are built in the trenches. They got their pro-bowl LT already in Joe Thomas. That won't be the selection here. The D-line is the next most important position to address and Morgan is the best End in this class. In the 3-4 scheme we play, Morgan could play DE or even as a rush-OLB wreaking havoc on opposing team's QBs. Not a bad guy to have.
8. Bruce Campbell, OT, Maryland
--I know, I know, I'm perhaps the hottest cheerleader in the NFL and it's probably distracting. Just hear me out. Our owner Al Davis is killing us. My Raiders used to be a dominating force year after year. Now we are relegated to picking in the top 10 every season. We have a nice defense that we should be able to build around, but we are in desperate need of a quarterback. This year's class doesn't have one to offer with the 8th overall pick, so that'll have to wait until round 2 most likely. LT is our next biggest need. I would never pick Campbell, but Davis is obsessed with workout-warriors, and Campbell is definitely that. Did you see his workouts? Most athletic offensive lineman who ever performed at the combine. Davis ate it up I'm sure, just like he did with Russell and Heyward-Bey. And we all know how that worked out. Too bad we are stuck with him 'til he dies.
9. Jimmy Clausen, QB, Notre Dame
--Every successful organization has a franchise quarterback leading the way. We haven't had one since Jim Kelly left. I don't think Clausen is the answer for my Bills. I truthfully don't think he'll be good in the NFL, but I understand that my team is almost forced to take him. We are moving to Toronto in the next couple years. We need a face of the team to sell us to that fan base. And since he is the only QB remaining worthy of the 9th pick, Clausen is gonna have to be that face for the time being.
10. Joe Haden, CB, Florida
--Just like everyone else in Jacksonville, I'd love to see Tim Tebow in a Jaguarsjersey. Sadly, Tebow is not safe enough a pick at number 10. Hopefully he falls to us in the 2nd round, but here in the first it's another University of Florida player we're lookin' at to round out the top 10. Haden is a shut-down corner in waiting and will definitely shore up a porous pass defense in serious need of some youthful talent. Now we just have to hope our team sticks around in Jacksonville long enough for us to see him develop.
11. Dez Bryant, WR, Oklahoma St. --With our defense already good enough to win now, it's time for my Broncos to turn their attention towards the offense. With the recent trade of Brandon Marshall to the Dolphins, we are desperately in need of some receiving help. Bryant is exactly the type of WR we need to attempt to overcome the loss of Marshall, a perennial pro-bowler. Bryant's year off from football after some booster problems surfaced at Okie State may cause him to be a little rusty in his rookie season. Regardless, he's by far the best player at our biggest position of need, so we'll gladly welcome him.
12. Jason Pierre-Paul, DE, USF
--I know I don't look it, but I'm a classy girl. I may even have my tramp stamp removed. Anyway, my hometown Dolphins look like they're headed in the right direction. We are certainly in good hands with Parcells watching over things. Chad Henne, our best chance at a franchise QB since Dan Marino left, looked great in his first year leading the offense. Now he has Brandon Marshall to take some pressure off him. As for the D, you can never have enough dynamic pass rushers. If you saw the YouTube clip of this guy at the scouting combine, you know that Pierre-Paul is a freak of an athlete. He's only had one year of D-1 college football experience, but I'm not sure there's a player in the draft with more potential. He, at the very least, will be good for double digit sacks his first season. You'll know his name soon enough.
13. Bryan Bulaga, OT, Iowa
--It's pretty clear that quarterback is my 49ers biggest position of need. Alex Smith may be the guy. He also may not be. *Note from the Esquire: "He's definitely not!" We aren't sure yet. It's just not worth panicking and taking a QB here who's not worthy of the 13th overall selection. We can wait 'til round 2 for that. One thing that may help Smith out is an O-line that can give him some more protection. That's where Bulaga comes in. He can play RT across from Joe Staley giving us a duo of great young book-ends.
14. Brian Price, UCLA, DT
--My Seahawks have so many ways they could go with the second of our first round selections. We obviously could use a running back. A D-lineman. A linebacker. A corner. A safety. Wow. A lot really. But, after giving our O-line a boost at #6 overall, we should get some help for our defense. D-back is a loaded position in this year's draft so we should be able to get a starter there in round 2. And we used our top 5 pick last year on a LB, Aaron Curry. So with this pick it looks like it's gotta be D-line. Price manhandled the trenches for UCLA and Coach Carroll was there to see it first hand. That actually sounded kind of weird when I read it back. Anyway, I don't think I like Price here, but I'm betting that Pac-10 connection will make this pick happen.
15. Rolando McClain, LB, Alabama
--While my Giants could absolutely use some help in the defensive backfield, McClain is simply too good to pass up with the 15th overall pick. With Antonio Pierce's recent release (not like he was any good anyway), my squad could definitely use a big time linebacker. The best LB in college football last year, and the leader of a National Champion dominating defense, McClain may very well become an instant pro-bowler. I, along with the rest of New York City, can not wait to have him on our side.
16. Dan Williams, DT, Tennessee
--With the departure of Haynesworth last year and Vanden Bosch this year, my Titans surely need to address the defensive line. Like immediately! We were hoping either Pierre-Paul or Morgan would fall to us, but Williams, the DT from right down the road in Knoxville, will have to make do. People in Tennessee already love him, so whether he's good or not, the Titan fan base will love Coach Fisher for making this pick.
17. CJ Spiller, RB, Clemson
--With our second 1st round pick, my49ers have to think skill position. I'd almost love for us to take Colt McCoy here and let him sit behind Alex Smith for a year until we decide whether Smith is really our QB of the future. If he's not, we have McCoy waiting to replace him. However, Spiller is probably too good to pass on at 17. He's the best RB in this draft class and he's the type of explosive offensive weapon that can single-handedly change a game. Not only will he be great filling in for Gore for about 10 carries a game, but he can also return kicks and punts, and possibly even play a little slot WR. We should be thankful he's there for us this late.
18. Mike Iupati, OG, Idaho
--No, don't worry, it wasn't me who Big Ben molested in the bathroom of that Georgia bar. He probably should have though cause I would never have told. Anyway, my Steelers have to get back to what we do best. Smash. Mouth. Football. We are known as a run-it-down-your-throat kind of team, but recently our O-line hasn't been able to live up to that reputation. Mendenhall needs someone to open a few holes for him and Big Ben needs a few seconds to look downfield. And probably someone to open some other kind of holes. Voluntarily I mean. Anyway, Iupati, a guy who can come in and play Guard or Tackle, is the perfect selection for the black and gold.
19. Sergio Kindle, OLB, Texas
--Personally, I'd love for my Falconsto draft Michael Vick. Can we do that? Let's just trade this pick to Phila to get him back. I love Michael. I need him back in my life. Being more realistic, Kindle is the perfect fit for our defense. We have major holes in the defensive backfield that can be addressed in the 2nd round with all the talent available at that position. More importantly though, we need to get a fill for the hole Keith Brooking left when he signed with Dallas last year. Kindle dominated at Texas where he led a top-ranked defense for three seasons while coming oh-so-close to winning a National Championship. I bet he'd enjoy a Superbowl title in Atlanta a little more.
20. Kareem Jackson, CB, Alabama
--To round out the top 20, my Texans desperately need to get a replacement for the recently departed Dunta Robinson. We were already weak in the defensive backfield last season, so DB has to be by far our number one option. Jackson was the Tide's shut-down corner on their way to the National Championship last season. In my opinion he's exactly what we need to finally get over the hump and make it to the playoffs for the first time in franchise history.
21. Anthony Davis, OT, Rutgers
--As you saw last year, my Bengals can really bring the pain on D. For the first time since Carson Palmer got here, it was our offense holding us back from winning more games. Specifically playoff games. We already brought in another receiving weapon in Antonio Bryant. Now we need some big boys up front to give Carson more time in the pocket. Davis can swallow up defensive ends before they get near Palmer. He's 6-6, 325 pounds and has real quick feet. We're happy to have him with the 21st overall pick.
22. Brandon Graham, DE/OLB, Michigan
--Because I'm clearly the Patriots best looking supporter, I'll be making the selection here for my man Tom's team. He and the offense are as explosive as ever, but the D got real old, real quick. They have more holes than a dart board. From the line to the linebacking core to the secondary, they're as thin as I am before I walk the runway. Therefore, Coach Belichik has to go with the best defensive player on the board, and that is Graham. He can come in and play DE or line up as a stand up rush-OLB. He will be a very versatile pass rusher and good overall defender for the Patriots. Plus he's a Michigan alum. Just like my man.
23. Maurkice Pouncey, C, Florida
--I, The Esquire, searched far and wide for the best looking women in Green Bay, Wisconsin and these 4 were who I came up with. They told me they really like Pouncey for their Packersbecause he's the best player left on the board who's almost their size. I've actually seen Pouncey play quite a few times over the past few seasons because one of my boys is obsessed with the Gators and forces me to watch. Pouncey can play for sure. He's gonna need to come in and immediately give Aaron Rodgers some much needed protection so he doesn't hold the title of Most Sacked QB In The League for yet another season.
24. Carlos Dunlap, DE, Florida
--I know what you're thinking. The Eaglesnever draft players with character issues. Well their thinking must've changed because as you know, they brought on the biggest character issue player in the league last season - Mike Vick. Hopefully adding Ernie Sims will help out are miserable linebacking core because we have other pressing needs to address. My squad knows they need a D-end to help Trent Cole get to the QB. Our DT's are real good at stopping the run, but account for almost no pressure against the pass. Dunlap is clearly retarded. I mean the guy got caught sleeping in his car, drunk, in the driver's seat, just before the biggest game of his life. How dumb do you have to be? Regardless, Coach Reid knows that this 6 foot 6, 280 pound monster who runs a 4.6 forty-yard dash can really help his defense. And when it comes down to it, that's all that matters.
25. Earl Thomas, S, Texas
--As you can probably see, D is my favorite letter. And I don't mean because my Ravens always have such a dominant one. When I saw that Thomas was still left on the board at 25, I was as ecstatic as the day I realized I could make guys do whatever I want them to do. Thomas is definitely the 2nd best safety in this draft class and probably a top 10 overall talent. With Ed Reed's health deteriorating, we're going to need someone to come in, learn from him, and get ready to take his place as the leader of our secondary. This boy is the perfect candidate.
26. Jermaine Gresham, TE, Okl. --Needless to say, this is a major transition year for my Cardinals. At least we were finally good enough to be able to refer to ourselves now as, "in transition." Matt Leinart has to step in there and try to fill Kurt Warner's shoes. Can't see how he's gonna get it done. Especially without Anquan Boldin. And without God on his side. I do have some faith in him though. Larry Fitz will certainly help, but we have to get him another target. Gresham is the best tight end in this class and would've gone in the top 15 last year had he come out. He's going to have to overcome some major knee injuries he suffered in college, but there isn't a more talented offensive player left on the board.
27. Charles Brown, OT, USC
--As much as the Esquire may not want to admit it, my Cowboys have to be among the 3 favorites to win the Superbowl. And guess what? It's in Dallas this year! Perfect. The one thing we may be missing is a left tackle to protect Tony Romo. Flozell Adams left for free agency and we desperately need to fill that big hole (that's what she said) he's leaving behind. Brown has the pedigree, he has the size, and he has the ability. Now it's just a matter of him putting it all together and elevating his game to the next level. We're banking on it.
28. Vladimir Ducasse, OG, Umass
--No you're not seeing double. Us Charger girls are just so hot that the Esquire wanted 2 of us to announce this pick. As you can see, we like big things. And they don't come much bigger than Ducasse. This mammoth Guard is just what we need to get our running game back on track after dipping to the bottom of the league last year. Plus he may even be the son of a Russian mob boss, which would be real cool. Are there such things as black Russians? Is that a drink? We're confused.
29. Everson Griffen, DE, USC
--It's me, Jenn Sterger. The captain of the Hot Football Fan All-Star team. I graduated from Florida State and I'm back in the Northeast to make life easier for my NY Jets in any way I possibly can. And I mean Any way. My first order of business is to make sure Coach Ryan takes Griffen. We already have the top D in the league, but could definitely use another pass rusher. USC regularly produces first round NFL talent and there's no reason to think otherwise of the big D-end from Southern Cal.
30. Tim Tebow, QB, Florida
--Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe it's cause he loves God just as much as I do. But I so badly want my Vikings to draft Tebow. Really though, I think they will. Just listen. We have Grandpa Favre coming back at QB. Tebow can sit back and learn from the best in the business this whole season. We don't have any holes on offense or defense that we absolutely must address to compete for a title this year. And hey, he can't be worse than Tavaris Jackson. Could he be a bust? Sure he could. But don't you think the best college football player of all time is worth a shot with the 30th pick?
31. Taylor Mays, S, USC --Yet another year picking at the bottom of the first round for my Colts. That's what you get for being so damn good every season. Any time you can take a guy with top 5 talent at 31st overall, you gotta give it a try. Mays is the character you create in Madden when you build a safety. Yea, I know I don't look too bright, but I know what Madden is at least. Mays is a 6 foot 3, 240 pound monster who runs a 4.4 forty yard dash. Plus, he has the same name I'm gonna use when I'm a porn star one day. The one problem - He got burned like a match at USC last season.
32. Terrence Cody, DT, Alabama
--I'm so hot that even the Esquire can't hate me for quoting "f**k da eagles" in my picture. Anyway, this is kind of a tough pick for my Saints. Being the World Champions and all, it's tough to figure out where you can improve. I guess if we really have to choose, we may as well improve our run defense a little. Mount Cody is a one-man-run-wrecking-crew. He helped the Tide win the National Title and is a great fit for us at the bottom of the first round. Oh, did I mention that we are "World Fucking Champions" (Utley, Chase).
BEYOND THE FIRST ROUND
1 Awesome Video
2 Smart Men
Mel Kiper's Top 10
1. Rams - Sam Bradford
2. Lions - Ndamukong Suh
3. Bucs - Gerald McCoy
4. Redskins - Russell Okung
5. Chiefs - Eric Berry
6. Seahawks - Trent Williams
7. Browns - Dez Bryant
8. Raiders - Jimmy Clausen
9. Bills - Bryan Bulaga
10. Jaguars - CJ Spiller
Todd McShay's Top 10
1. Rams - Sam Bradford
2. Lions - Ndamukong Suh
3. Bucs - Gerald McCoy
4. Redskins - Russell Okung
5. Chiefs - Bryan Bulaga
6. Seahawks - Eric Berry
7. Browns - Dan Williams
8. Raiders - Trent Williams
9. Bills - Anthony Davis
10. Jaguars - Earl Thomas
3 Teams On The Move --With 6 of the first 105 picks, and 11 picks overall (9 now), look for Andy Reid and the Eagles to be Thee move-makers this coming weekend. The Eagles will either move up in the first round to draft the lineman they desire or deal multiple early to mid round picks to get a second 1st round pick. **Since I wrote this part, the Eagles traded their 5th and 7th round picks to acquire Ernie Sims, the OLB from Detroit. Sims was a first round pick a few years back and had over 100 tackles each of his first 3 years in the league. Great first move for the Birds.
--The Patriots, the team with the most draft picks in the 2010 Draft, are always looking to make a deal. Belichik's teams thrive on building through the draft. With 12 picks this time around, 4 in the top 53, the Patriots can afford to be bold. That makes them a major wild card come Thursday night. --Being the owner of 2 picks in the top 20 expands your options to say the least. The Niners could stay where they're at and get two very talented football players. Or they could decide to package them together to get into the top 5. They could even trade out of the 1st round with one of the two picks and gather later round picks. Whichever way they choose to go, it's a nice spot to be in.
4 Things To Watch
1. Good teams know the game is won in the trenches. Don't be surprised if you see seven linemen selected in the first 10 picks of the draft.
2. There's a ton of cornerback talent in this draft class. Watch out for them to start flying off the board once the second round begins.
3. Running back is a particularly weak position in this uniquely loaded draft class. Not many are good enough to warrant top 50 selections, but as soon as Jahvid Best goes, look for the rest to come off the board like rapid fire.
4. Where will Tebow go? By almost all accounts, he's the best college football player of all time. That doesn't always translate into NFL success as so many Heisman winners will attest. Does someone like Minnesota actually have the balls to take him in the first round?
5 Schools With Some Serious Talent
1. UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA
--7 players ranked in the top 100
--8 players ranked in the top 10 at their position
--4 players ranked in the top 3 at their position
--*2 players ranked #1 at their position
--*Joe Haden, *Maurkice Pouncey, Carlos Dunlap, Brandon Spikes, Tim Tebow, Aaron Hernandez, Major Wright, Riley Cooper, Jermaine Cunningham, Brandon James, Ryan Stamper
2. UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA
--4 players ranked in the top 100
--5 players ranked in the top 10 at their position
--3 players ranked in the top 3 at their position
--*2 players ranked #1 at their position
--*Rolando McClain, Kareem Jackson, Terrence Cody, Javier Arenas, Mike Johnson, Brandon Deaderick, Colin Peek, Loren Washington, *Leigh Tiffin
3. OKLAHOMA UNIVERSITY
--5 players ranked in the top 100
--6 players ranked in the top 10 at their position
--4 players ranked in the top 3 at their position
--*3 players ranked #1 at their position
--*Gerald McCoy, *Sam Bradford, Trent Williams, *Jermaine Gresham, Dominique Franks, Chris Brown, Matt Clapp
4. UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS
--5 players ranked in the top 100
--6 players ranked in the top 10 at their position
--3 players ranked in the top 3 at their position
--Earl Thomas, Sergio Kindle, Lamarr Houston, Colt McCoy, Jordan Shipley, Roddick Muckelroy, Adam Ulatoski, Hunter Lawrence, Charles Tanner
5. LOUISIANA STATE UNIVERSITY
--4 players ranked in the top 100
--3 players ranked in the top 10 at their position
--1 players ranked in the top 3 at their position
--Brandon LaFell, Al Woods, Perry Riley, Chad Jones, Charles Scott, Keiland Williams, Harry Coleman, Rahim Alem, Ciron Black, Trindon Holliday
6 Likely Busts
Eric Berry, S, Tennessee
-I don't necessarily think that Berry will be a bad player in the league, I just don't think he will be worthy of a top 5 pick. Or top 10 for that matter. Comparing him to the Hall of Fame safeties we have watched recently is like comparing my writing skills to Bill Simmons'. He just won't live up to that status.
Jimmy Clausen, QB, Notre Dame
-In all seriousness, I will be completely shocked if this guy turns into a productive starting quarterback in the NFL. He consistently had top 5 recruiting classes at his disposal in college but couldn't get the job done. I refuse to lay all that blame on Charlie Weis.
Demaryius Thomas, WR, Georgia Tech
-This guy is shooting up draft boards due to stellar workouts and ideal body size. He can run and he can jump, but he never took over and dominated at G Tech. Special wideouts tend to be able to do that at the college level. I just don't see that in this guy.
Jermaine Gresham, TE, Oklahoma
-Two major knee surgeries in college cost this kid a lot of missed time, and a fuckload of money. He was a sure fire top 15 pick if he came out last year. He was supposed to go win a National Title and dominate so much that he'd creep into the top 5 discussion. Didn't work out so well. His QB got hurt and before he knew it he was back on the IR with yet another torn ACL. I'd be concerned to say the least.
Taylor Mays, S, USC
-In measurables, he has everything you'd want in an NFL safety. Too bad football games aren't played on paper. Mays consistently disappeared on defense while playing at USC where he played with all the talent in the world and had the best defensive coach in the nation. If his athleticism couldn't carry him at that level, it certainly won't be able to make him successful at this one.
Bruce Campbell, OT, Maryland
-Everything I just said about Mays applies to Campell. Except Mays at least has some real talent. I'll leave it at that.
7 Interesting Players
LeGarrette Blount, RB, Oregon
-that one punch is gonna cost this kid millions and millions of dollars
Armanti Edwards, WR, Appalachian State
-remember this guy? he beat michigan at michigan. can you say wildcat?
Toby Gerhart, RB, Stanford
-can a white running back really succeed still at this level?
Trindon Holliday, Returner, LSU
-the ncaa champion in the 100m dash is a dangerous man in the open field
Sean Lee, LB, Penn State
-the top tackler ever at linebacker u, but he's undersized and has health issues
Colt McCoy, QB, Texas
-no college quarterback has ever won more games than this kid
Myron Rolle, DB, Florida State
-former top prospect in the nation turned rhodes scholar returns to football
8 Vying For Rookie of the Year
Jahvid Best, RB, Proj. 2nd round
-this burner out of cal has great potential if he ends up in the right offensive system for his skills set
Sam Bradford, QB, Proj. top 5
-hopefully for his sake someone trades up to get him at #1, but even if he's a ram he's guaranteed to start right away at least
Brandon Graham, OLB, Proj. 1st round
-if he lands in new england like i projected i see him being a double digit sack machine for a playoff defense
Rolando McClain, LB, Proj. 1st round
-easily could be among the league leaders in tackles as a rookie just like his former teammate demeco ryans
Russell Okung, LT, Proj. top 10
-more likely than not he's gonna end up as mcnabb's blind side protector landing him in the spotlight immediately
Jason Pierre-Paul, DE, Proj. 1st round
-if he can harness his superior athleticism and freakish natural talents he will be a matchup nightmare for opposing coordinators
C.J. Spiller, RB, Proj. 1st round
-with all that speed there's a chance he's this year's chris johnson, but it's hard to think he'll live up to that lofty billing
Ndamukong Suh, DT, Proj. top 5
-the house of spears will be the anchor of a rebuilt lions' line that may actually surprise some people
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--The Patriots, the team with the most draft picks in the 2010 Draft, are always looking to make a deal. Belichik's teams thrive on building through the draft. With 12 picks this time around, 4 in the top 53, the Patriots can afford to be bold. That makes them a major wild card come Thursday night. 
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