Sports and Shit: This Week In Sports (ramblings of the esquire)

Before I get to my snapshot of the past week in sports, I wanted to apologize for the problem with my last post. For some reason those pictures were screwed up once I posted them to blogspot, but on my computer it showed that they were coming up as normal. Anyway, because they weren't loading on the site, I copied and pasted the article and emailed them to everyone on my listserve. If you are a reader and you want the Top Sideboob Shots sent to you (trust me you do!), just put a comment after this column with your email address and I will forward you the article with the pictures actually showing. Finally, keep your eyes open for my NFL Draft Preview Column coming later this week. It will not disappoint. I promise. Thanks for taking the time to read, and now, on to the week in sports followed by my favorite pictures of the week.

This week in sports we learned that baseball is back, Big Ben knows how to get off (pun intended), Jason Heyward is so talented it's scary, Phil Mickelson looks good in green jackets, David Ortiz should change his nickname from Big Papi to David "Why Did I Dump The PED's" Ortiz, the Flyers fought off the Rangers to claim the title of "less pathetic hockey team from the Northeast," Harry Leroy Halladay III is going to lead the Phillies to their third consecutive NL Pennant, Jimmy Clausen knows how to throw spirals, Ndamukong Suh hits harder than a freight train according to sports science, Barry Bonds is proud of Mark McGwire for finally admitting his steroid use - hahahahah, come on Barry, Tiger's layoff isn't going to hold him back whatsoever, Santonio Holmes got exiled out of Pittsburgh and sent to New York - I'm sure he's very upset about that, Roger Maris is nervous about Ryan Howard's quest to break his record with no asterisk attached, Lebron and Dwight are ready for the playoffs, Kobe and the Lakers are not, the Astros are well on their way to 0-162, Duke University ruins the dreams of underdogs everywhere, the Uconn women can win shooting with their opposite hand, and the Raptors without Chris Bosh aren't even good enough to beat a D-II college team.

**Little addition to the part about the Uconn Women**

As you know, the University of Connecticut Women's Basketball Team just completed back-to-back undefeated National Championship seasons. It's an incredible feat. I gotta give it up to Coach Geno Auriemma for a job well done. To beat 78 straight teams, all by double digits nonetheless, is absolutely unheard of. Obviously, I don't waste my time watching women's basketball, but I took these incredible statistics at face value and used them in an argument with one of my best friends last week. I told him (we will call him Jewbacca) that the Uconn women's team could beat almost any boys high school team in the country and possibly some D-II men's college teams. Jewbacca argued with me relentlessly saying that his High School - Plymouth-Whitemarsh - who just won the Pennsylvania 4-A State Championship could easily beat the Uconn women by 50. I told Jewbacca he's crazy and biased against women, possibly even a genderist (or whatever you would call it). Then in order to prove my point, I watched the Uconn Women play for about 15 minutes against Baylor in the Final 4. Baylor has a girl who is 6 foot 8 so I thought watching them play against her would be a good comparison to the taller high school boys. I didn't need the full 15 minutes. Two minutes into watching them play I got out of my bed, grabbed my cell phone, swallowed my pride, and called Jewbacca. Here is the gist of the conversation:

Esquire: "So do you remember when we were arguing about the Uconn Women?"

Jewbacca: "Yes. You're retarded."

Esquire: "Well I know I don't ever like to admit that I'm wrong, but I just watched them play for 2 minutes and not only could they not come close to beating your high school, but I'm almost certain that they would lose to any good boys high school team in the world."

Jewbacca: "I can't believe you just admitted I was right. I wouldn't even have done that if the roles were reversed."

Esquire: "Dude, girls are just not very good at basketball."

The moral of the story - no matter how dominant girls are compared to the girls they play against (and Uconn is the most dominant of all time), they're still girls. Do they have the dribbling, passing, and shooting talent? Yes, of course. And although some are incredible athletes, ultimately they can't jump as high, run as fast, or hit as hard. They don't have the strength and athleticism to compete with boys who are bigger. stronger, and quicker than they are. I tried my best to defend you Huskie Women, I really did, but I just couldn't do it successfully. Lesson learned.

And now, the pictures of the week:

Pictures Of The Week

-Didn't know I liked the Cubs until now

-Don't know what SbB is, but I do know I like it

-I think her hands are up against the lockers cause she's getting arrested for giving the ref a heart attack

- Gotta love beach volleyball

-Why do I never get seats next to women who look like this???
P.S. She wasn't very happy to be left off the Top 20 Sideboob List
P.S.S. She may be saluting Hiter, I'm not sure