Draft Day Recap, Round 1

The first round of the 2010 NFL Draft has come and gone. It was a night filled with excitement, surprises, trades, and a WHOLE LOTTA ASSETS!

Just like this broad above, it was a night that did not disappoint. We were promised trades and trades we got. We were promised a quicker paced round with less down time and that's exactly what we got. I actually won a bet with a friend of mine (we will call him Jean Jacket) based on the pace of last night. I said that the average time per pick would be under 9 minutes. He vehemently opposed. I actually thought it would be under 8 minutes but why not give myself a little wiggle room in the bet? Feel me. Well needless to say I dominated the bet. It was over before it began. The rule of thumb being don't doubt my draft day knowledge, or maybe it's that Jean Jacket is a terrible gambler. Either way, worked out well for me. As for the ups and downs of the first Thursday night in NFL Draft history, here's a quick rundown.

UPs

-Big UPs to the Raiders for finally not botching their pick for the first time since I can remember. Rolando McClain will be a stud MLB for the next 12 years. Guaranteed. Of course they needed to draft a LT, but I commend them for at least taking a player with obvious talent rather than another bum who looks good in the weight room or on the track.

-Good job by the Rams not fucking up and trading away the #1 overall pick. They desperately need the franchise QB they've been lacking since Kurt Warner got shipped off to NY.

-Loved what the Bills did. Get the best RB in the draft, get rid of Marshawn "I create more problems than first downs" Lynch, and most of all don't get sucked into taking Jimmy Clausen just cause he plays quarterback.

-Big Up to my Eagles for moving up 11 spots without having to give either of their two 2nd round picks in order to draft pass rushing specialist Brandon Graham. Guaranteed double digit sacks this year, you'll see. And please fellow Eagle fans, stop complaining about not drafting Earl Thomas. The dude is good, not great, and the Eagles will never take a safety that high. Get over it.

-Fabulous job by the 49ers moving around in the draft and grabbing 2 top offensive lineman. They now have bookend Tackles for years to come in Staley and Anthony Davis as well as a super run blocking Samoan in Iupati. Loved their first round. If only they had a QB...

-Congrats to Carson Palmer for finally talking his team into getting him a legit TE red-zone threat in Jermaine Gresham. If he stays healthy he's a star.

-Finally, great job by the Detroit Lions who are absolutely headed in the right direction. Ndamukong Suh will be a pro bowler. Possibly as a rookie. And Jahvid Best is lightning. If that kid can take the physical beating in the NFL like other guys his size (Desean Jackson) then he will create so many matchup problems it'll be scary.

DOWNs

 
-First off, is this a man? Woman? Beast? Alien?? I really don't know. Ugh, definitely scary to look at whatever that thing is.

-Bad move by the Jaguars jumping on Tyson Alualu at least 30 picks too soon. Probably more. Easily could have gotten him in the second round while taking an OL that they need at the 10th pick.

-Terrible choice by the Broncos to take Demaryius Thomas as the first WR off the board. I know you may think Dez Bryant is the next Brandon Marshall attitude wise, but if you are going to take a WR in round 1, he's about a thousand times more talented than Thomas. That pick will not work out well for Denver. The Tebow pick, not so sure. I think I like it though for now.

-Chargers got a little trigger happy. They saw Spiller go a few picks early and panicked. Don't get me wrong, I like Ryan Matthews, but did anyone in the world think he was going 12th overall? I think they could have traded up to 19 at the very most and still got him. Woulda cost them less in draft picks and signing bonus. Maybe even could have gotten him at their pick (28th overall).

-Big Down to the Big 10 for having only 3 guys drafted in the first round while the Big 12 and SEC, the other 2 dominant football conferences, seemed to produce every player in last night's festivities. 5 of the first 6 alone came out of the Big 12. Damn.

Now, on to some fun football pictures.

She's kinda sweaty, maybe she just played, or maybe some of the guys on the team just played with her.


Definitely a favorite among the Trojan football team. Possibly even the girl Charlie Weis was talkin about when he called out Pete Carroll. At least I hope so for Carroll's sake.


God damnit I shoulda gone to school in the South. I knew it. Thanks Mom and Dad.


Florida State. Continuing to produce only the best and brightest around.


Yea, I can't even think of anything non-slutty to say at this point. I think even she would admit that she's not the classiest girl in the world. Or the 498,000,000th classiest.


I'm guessin Big Ben wishes the Steelers picked her to snap him the ball rather than Pouncey. Or maybe he can still bring her in as a bathroom attendant. Ha, I'll shut up now.


HAVE A GREAT REST OF THE DRAFT WEEKEND!!!!